Thursday, August 1, 2013

Letters to Myself


What I would say to my 13-year-old self:

Dear Emily, relax, chill out, little redhead.  You’ve got plenty of time for love and romance.  Stop pining after boys that have no idea you exist.  They are not the ones to be concentrating on.  At all.  That’s a pretty good life lesson actually – don’t put in so much effort if the relationship / friendship is going to be a worthless cause.  You’ll probably figure that out sooner or later.  I know for a fact your little 13-year-old self is clinging to online "friendships" with boys who won't acknowledge you in person as we speak.  Let it go, friend.  Seriously.  Enjoy this adolescence.  Soon those thick bangs will go.  You’ll get braces, but those will come off too.  You’ll have to wait awhile but boys will start to notice you in college.  For now, enjoy your friends and your playful, carefree life.  Those “popular” girls who may or may not be dabbling in romance will regret that they lost their childlike wonder so soon.  There is plenty of time for growing up.  Relish this moment. 

You’re a pretty cool kid in your nerdy-ness.  These friends that you have will probably be life-long friends.  I know you’re lonely.  I know you want a big sister or brother to lean on.  You’ll always feel that little pang of loneliness unfortunately.  But you need to concentrate on the amazing girl friends, and those few guy friends that you have.  You’ve surrounded yourself with some good, solid people who love you.  Be happy and thankful for them.

What I would say to my 20-year-old self:

Well, you got your heart broken.  Even more broken than the first time.  Crushed and clobbered.  I daresay it won’t be the last.  And how adorable that you made him something sweet and memorable for his fucking birthday.  After you were broken up.  God, you’re nice.  Ridiculously nice.  Anyway, buck up, little camper.  I know you think you can’t eat and you can’t sleep and you can’t think about anything but yourself and getting back together with him right now.  And you think you’ll never find love ever ever ever ever again.  Trust me, you will.  Maybe several times.  Who can say?  There are plenty of men out there.  Many of them are assholes, but you’ll find a couple that are decent.  But I digress.  Instead, try to focus on England.  Eat your mother’s delicious and bubbling stew and her warm apple crisp and memorize your parents’ faces.  You’ll be gone for a while.  Try not to let this overshadow your first few months abroad, even though I know it will.  You may not have that kind of relationship with him ever again, but [spoiler alert!!!] you’ll have a best friend who’s there for you always, through thick and thin.  You both just need to figure stuff out right now.

What I would say to myself now, at 27 years:

Well, shit, it happened again.  * heaves a sigh *
And you gave him something nice for his fucking birthday.  (Why do you always break up with guys around their birthday?  Or in the spring?  And why do you always feel the need to give them stuff?  To remember you by?  Whatever, at least you didn’t make something super heartfelt this time.  Ugh, that was a little disgusting, btw.  But you’re growing.  And learning.  These are good things.)  Anyway, as we’ve covered, you’re way too nice.  But you know what?  I’m sort of proud of you for being a nice person.  I don’t think you’ll ever regret it. 

I know things are up in the air, but let me be so bold as to say that you are exactly where you need to be right now.  I know your friends are almost all married.  They have children.  They have their lives in perfect packages all sewn up.  Super tidy.  Clearly, you’re not supposed to be there yet.  And that’s fine.  When it’s right, it’ll be right.  You’ll figure it out.

What I would say to myself in the future, at 34 years:

Dear Emily,
Please, God, say that you have my/our/your life figured out. 

Hey, thanks.  I really, really, really appreciate it.
Lurve,
Yourself

No comments:

Post a Comment