What I would say to my 13-year-old self:
Dear Emily, relax, chill out, little redhead. You’ve got plenty of time for love and
romance. Stop pining after boys
that have no idea you exist. They
are not the ones to be concentrating on.
At all. That’s a pretty
good life lesson actually – don’t put in so much effort if the
relationship / friendship is going to be a worthless cause. You’ll probably figure that out sooner
or later. I know for a fact your
little 13-year-old self is clinging to online "friendships" with boys who won't acknowledge you in person as we speak. Let it go, friend. Seriously. Enjoy this adolescence. Soon those thick bangs will go. You’ll get braces, but those will come off too. You’ll have to wait awhile but boys
will start to notice you in college.
For now, enjoy your friends and your playful, carefree life. Those “popular” girls who may or may
not be dabbling in romance will regret that they lost their childlike wonder so
soon. There is plenty of time for
growing up. Relish this
moment.
You’re a pretty cool kid in your nerdy-ness. These friends that you have will
probably be life-long friends. I
know you’re lonely. I know you
want a big sister or brother to lean on.
You’ll always feel that little pang of loneliness unfortunately. But you need to concentrate on the
amazing girl friends, and those few guy friends that you have. You’ve surrounded yourself with some
good, solid people who love you.
Be happy and thankful for them.
What I would say to my 20-year-old self:
Well, you got your heart broken. Even more broken than
the first time. Crushed and
clobbered. I daresay it won’t be
the last. And how adorable
that you made him something sweet and memorable for his fucking birthday. After you were broken up. God, you’re nice. Ridiculously nice. Anyway, buck up, little camper. I know you think you can’t eat and you
can’t sleep and you can’t think about anything but yourself and getting back
together with him right now. And
you think you’ll never find love ever ever ever ever again. Trust me, you will. Maybe several times. Who can say? There are plenty of men out there. Many of them are assholes, but you’ll find a couple that are
decent. But I digress. Instead, try to focus on
England. Eat your mother’s
delicious and bubbling stew and her warm apple crisp and memorize your parents’ faces. You’ll be gone for a while. Try not to let this overshadow your
first few months abroad, even though I know it will. You may not have that kind of relationship with him ever
again, but [spoiler alert!!!] you’ll have a best friend who’s there for you always, through thick
and thin. You both just need to
figure stuff out right now.
What I would say to myself now, at 27 years:
Well, shit, it happened again. * heaves a sigh *
And you gave him something nice for his fucking
birthday. (Why do you always break
up with guys around their birthday?
Or in the spring? And why
do you always feel the need to give them
stuff? To remember you by? Whatever, at least you didn’t make
something super heartfelt this time. Ugh, that was a little disgusting, btw. But you’re growing. And learning. These are good things.) Anyway, as we’ve covered, you’re way too nice. But you know what? I’m sort of proud of you for being a
nice person. I don’t think you’ll
ever regret it.
I know things are up in the air, but let me be so bold as to
say that you are exactly where you need to be right now. I know your friends are almost all
married. They have children. They have their lives in perfect
packages all sewn up. Super
tidy. Clearly, you’re not supposed
to be there yet. And that’s fine. When it’s right, it’ll be right. You’ll figure it out.
What I would say to myself in the future, at 34 years:
Dear Emily,
Please, God, say that
you have my/our/your life figured out.
Hey, thanks. I
really, really, really appreciate it.
Lurve,
Yourself
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