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I am discouraged.

It has become another one of those points in my life where multiple facets of life have disappointed me in some shape or form.  Pretty dramatic, huh?  I feel like crying all the time.  I can’t make myself stop.  Everything sets me off.  I was in the dentist’s office today and she was talking about my bill, and taking forever to print the bill, and I was so impatient and upset and I don’t have money, and I just got dumped or “let down easy” or whatever and almost lost it in the dentist’s office.  It seems helpless. 

It’s soooo disheartening.  Another cover letter that will be rejected, for a job that I’m not even sure could make me happy.  But happier than this current job?  Almost certainly.  Well, I don’t know.  I’m sure it could be worse.  Another first date that will be muddled and bungled and somehow they’ll decide our differences are too great to continue.  What will the excuse be this time?  I suppose it’s safer to just be closed up and closed off and all alone, although that sounds very lonely.  It’s a shame I can’t afford a dog.  Or a cat, even.  Bills piling up for boring, regular life expenses.  I need a third job.  I’m in a rut.  How do I get out?

Life is unrelenting.  I can’t catch a break.  Where am I supposed to be?  Transition times are crucial.  I get it.  But when does it stop.  Let me off the goddamn carousel please.  Right fucking now.  Or else I’ll throw up.  Thanks.