"the light within me..."

I never knew quite what to make of the philosophy called yoga. I still don't know much about its origins, although Wikipedia has provided me with some very basic answers. I always equated it with more of a dance like motion, and in a way it is, as your body moves in some sort of trance to different poses and positions. Some of my friends would get up early to practice yoga, in particular, the Sun Salutation, and I never quite understood this. Why would you voluntarily leave your warm, cozy, comforting bed to greet the sun (which has rudely interrupted your much needed sleep) and mentally prepare for the morning? The most mental preparation I do comes when I rub the sleep out of my eyes in the shower, and daze off in front of the morning news on my computer.

I have not experienced the morning yoga workout, although I hope to add that to my practice starting tomorrow. (Let's see if I can make myself get up earlier in the morning, do my AM yoga workout, and eat a small breakfast. It's a goal... we'll see.) About a week ago I bought two workout videos - one was Beginner's AM and PM yoga, each program designed to help one relax or energize yourself (depending on the time of day). Although I'm still no expert, I am flexible and for the most part have easily been able to follow the routines in the PM workout. Yoga uses a lot of jargon which I'm not familiar with, and honestly some of it I find a little hokey and hard to concentrate on and relate to; some of my favorites are: "soften your eyes," "with this breath offer your heart to your left leg," "bring your attention to the space between the two hemispheres of your brain, and breathe there to consciously soften that space," and "listen to your breathing and make sure to balance the breath between both lungs, listen to your right lung; if it feels shallow and tight, breathe with that lung and lengthen your left leg." Often, I'm sitting there thinking, "Hmm, I think maybe? I'm not breathing enough into my right lung? How do I fix that?" which causes me to tighten it, and stress about my body. I think it makes me concentrate on what's not going on when I should be focusing on how Yoga is helping with daily preparation, in this case in quieting my mind and preparing for rest.

What I have noticed is marked effect that it has had on my back. I tend to have a very tight back in certain areas and after the PM Yoga, these areas feel open and tingly, meaning, I suppose that my back was tensed up in knots and these stretching and breathing fully helps loosen them. It's a nice feeling and I hope that it continues if I continue with the practice of yoga.

Secondly, my favorite part of yoga is the centering aspect it seems to have on me and those who practice it. It focuses mainly on listening to your breathing and being in touch with your body and I think my favorite part of the exercise is after most of the stretching we quiet our minds and breathe deeply. Here is when I appreciate the meditative jargon that is used in yoga, the leader encourages you to do certain things whether "you feel you need more grounding" or "more receptivity." After this practice I find myself so calm and so sleepy and just ready to surrender all intellectual thoughts for the day - which, of course, is the point. Contrary to deciding which part of my body the breathing resides in when the leader tells me "breathe through the space between the hemispheres of my brain," I seem to connect to these words which are so peaceful and yet intentional and deliberate. Somehow they seem to take on an empowering quality - perhaps it's the trance like music in the background or the leader's voice on the tape, but I often really feel in tune and secure with my thoughts and my body. My goal is to try to do this more and consistently - although we all know how well I do at keeping resolutions and goals - not to mention what happens to them during grad shcool. (They fly right out the window...) Tomorrow I'm going to do my best to get up and do the AM Yoga workout which I'm sure includes the Sun Salutation. I hope it leaves me confident and ready for the day!

Finally, I thought I'd leave you with the calming thoughts of my PM Yoga video. I love what it says about concentrating on your original intent and holding your heart as the primary teacher and master: "The greeting Namaste traditionally means, 'the light within me recognizes the light within you.' We say this as we end our practice in respect, and gratitude. Now bring your chin to your chest and revisit your intention. Remind yourself to listen to your breathing and remember your teachers. With great respect and gratitude, bow to your own heart - your greatest teacher - and welcome yourself. Namaste."

Good Night, all!

emily